made.good.again

"OUCH!" The needle I was stitching the patient with pierced through the surgical gloves into my thumb (it had the patient’s blood on it). The colour drained from my face and a lump formed in my throat. NESB surgeon asked if I were alright, and asked the patient if he had Hepatitis B or C…

Phew.. he doesn’t.

NESB surgeon told me to squeeze the blood out as much as I can and I had to wash my thumb in antiseptic soap. After that, went to check the patient’s files if he had infectious diseases. Good. No HIV.

NESB surgeon could see that I was rather shaken because I was really quiet after that. He was really nice and reassured me that it should be alright.

Byebye Dr PennyKee, hello Dr Panicky: For the brief 10-15minutes, it felt as if the past 6 years of medical school just flashed before me, the many years of medical career ahead awaiting me dissolving into nothingness if I had contracted the illness. How fragile. I can’t believe a little poke of the needle could totally change the course of one’s life.

How relieved am I that God protects. Considering that handling needles are going to be part of everyday life…

Note: I really don’t have Hep B… please still share drinks with me n stuff…

Saw a lady who has bipolar/schizophrenia in clinics yesterday. She came in with her 4 year old daughter, to get prescriptions for antipsychotic medications. Was supposed to ask her a few questions and then just print the scripts for her. Decided to pause. And explore a little bit about what it was like living with a mental illness. She shared about how inadequate she felt trying to raise her little daughter. She lived a highly functional past before the disease struck, and often wondered how different life would’ve been for her and her daughter if she hadn’t gotten the illness. "I wish my daughter could have the best things, like what other kids have, sometimes when I look at other families… but I can only give her what I have…"

To me, I thought she’s been such a success. Success defined as garnering all that she is and has and making the best out of it all. Shared that with her, and her eyes welled up with tears. "You rrr-eeally think so dr?"…."Don’t worry, ma’am… your daughter will grow up to be a fine young lady because what you’ve sown into her is a great attitude towards life and that’s more precious than what money can buy…"

Wonder where I learnt to speak like that. Must be from my own little experience of what mum has given up for me. Plus the security to be able to brave through things in life because the One who is in control is walking life with me.

*****

After clinics: On the way out, was rushing past the receptionist when I saw that she had tears in her eyes. Paused… and found out that a patient had just said something unkind to her. Stayed on to encourage/console her.

*****

Amazing things happen when I decide to press the PAUSE button on my daily agendas. Worked out the math too: that if I only look out for myself, I have effectively ONE person looking out for me… but if everyone looks out for one another, we’d have many people looking out for each person.

*****

Glad that a moment of PAUSE made a difference in these women’s lives. Men should learn to do that more often too, since I’ve heard it said that men-no-pause.

*****

Sillier-than-thou: Ah Tat found his ATM match! A friend we were speaking to said that when she first came to Melbourne, she thought that the max you could withdraw was $20 each time so she had to do 5 transactions to get $100!

I can’t believe my good friend got an infringement for: "Placing feet on furniture or inappropriate places in a public transport" - i.e. got fined $205 for propping her feet up on the tram seat.

Another friend opened the passenger door to my car and began to forcefully/violently push the seat forwards to no avail…
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE SEAT!!
Her: Trying to get into the backseat lah…
Me: Err.. my car has 4 doors!!

WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!
If you’re reading this, know that my love for you is unconditional… =)

****
Did you hear about the ribenaberry who cheated on his wife?
It was on the Currant Affairs last night…

2 months ago, on the phone:
Mum: Ahh.. so you’re applying for jobs and going for interviews. Which hospital do you wanna work in?
Me: Mmm.. best would be Austin, but I guess that’s impossible.
MUm: Hey don’t say that! Okay so it’s Austin huh, I’ll be praying. Now how do you spell that?? A-U-S-T-I-N… okay got that down. YOu must trust God.

1 month ago, job results released: "unfortunately, you were unmatched i.e. didn’t get a position in Victoria."
Me: Ahh.. mum, didn’t get a job lah.
Mum: Mmm.. didn’t get? Hmmm…strange huh…I prayed you’d get into Austin.
Me: Sigh.. yeah.. oh well nvm lah…very hard to get in one lah
Mum: Mmm.. trust Him.

(Of course I just thought she’s oblivious to the fact that it’s just impossible to get a place in Victoria - the place to be. And of course "I knew better". I’ve counted the statistics and I know the REAL situation at hand.)

Yesterday:
I read Proverbs 1 (in preparation for discipleship session with thepupilindenial) and these verses jumped out at me:

  ⁸ Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
       and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

    ⁹ They will be a garland to grace your head
       and a chain to adorn your neck.

Didn’t really see what it meant at that stage…
Until this morning - the phone rang:
Me: hello
HRM: is that peilee? I’m calling from the austin and we’d like to offer you a job if you’re still looking for one!
Me: (voice trembling)… Aaaaahhh.. really!! As in I’ve got a job at the Austin? OH noooo I"m gonna cry.. thank you!!! Am absolutely THRILLED!!

Haha thought my response was a bit unprofessional and unsophisticated (actually it’s improved already. What I really wanted to say was: HAHHH DON"T BLUFF LAH!!! Reowly one issit!! Wah laoo why didn’t say earlier!). Good thing my frontal lobe kicked in just in time before I got too disinhibited.

M.U.M. = Mum Understands Most
I think Mummy should be spelt Mum-me. Everything that is important to ME seems to be so important to her, it’s like she can’t help it that I’m such a huge part of her life.

I admire mum’s simplicity in her faith. She just… BELIEVES.

Am so grateful to God for the job. It’s obviously Him who has provided! Am secure in His goodness.

I’m beginning to think there’s a special pathway in my brain that just associates random words that sound alike. Maybe that’s how I always seem to think of the so-called jokes and end up getting called names like corny/funny/punny penny. The laughs I get seem to be inversely proportional to how long a person has known me for. Someone who’s just met me might think I’m the funniest person alive and laugh heaps. Someone who sees me everyday just goes urgghh and rolls their eyes (out of the kindness of their hearts because I suspect they’re screaming SHUTUPPENNY inside). I think it loses the effect if it’s done everyday, but when the eye-rollers do laugh, it means I just came up with something absolutely BRILLIANTO! Anyway I don’t do it for the laughs so that’s ok (which also explains why I still do it when people don’t laugh). I think I just say silly things coz I think silly sometimes (when I’m not thinking serious). Oh and I suspect it’s genetics as well coz my whole family makes good jokes, intentionally or unintentionally (some mums make good cakes, mine makes good jokes har har) . I’ve considered writing a book on teaching people how to tell jokes, not just a book filled with jokes - I think everyone can come up with something original.

Anyway this morning my word association pathways did me some good when I was doing some reflections…

That with the pains in life, if they’re not relieved, they are re-lived.

And with the wrongdoings in life, if we don’t re-pent, we re-peat.

Sometimes the fastest and biggest progress we can make in life is a 180 degree turnaround.

From skin cancers, today I got promoted to yanking out someone’s ingrown toenail (under NESB surgeon’s supervision of course)! Local anaesthetic is MAGIC - the patient didn’t even blink when I did the "wedge resection" i.e cut the flesh adjacent to the toenail, cut down the toenail (vertically), and….. YANK! Then the currettage has gotta be the worst - apparently to clean out whatever leftover bits of nail and nailbed. Scrape with the spatula until you hear it scraping against the bone.. it goes like kerrrkkk… kerrrkkk… The first time I saw/heard NESB surgeon do it I almost fainted.

But the gory procedure is supposed to relief the little girl of all the pain she’s had in the past couple of weeks (when the ingrown toenail was poking into the sensible/sensitive flesh).

Wonder if some of the enduring pains in our lives get removed that way… just remove/yank out the whole area… which would be excruciating initially… but it gives lasting relief =)  The Master supervises, intervenes, and provides aftercare.

Third week of placements at the clinic. More responsibilities = makes me feel important like a real doctor:

Got to cut off someone’s precancerous skin measuring 4cmx1cm:
Non-English-Speaking-Background surgeon to patient: I’m going to give you some local anaesthetic…
(after a while)
NESB surgeon: pain??
Patient: yes
NESB surgeon: Mmm.. I think you are sensible (a.k.a. sensitive to most people). I will give you more anaesthetic…

Note to self: need good hands to be surgeon. england not powderful nemind.

Then the surgeon guided me as I made a confident, clean elliptical cut with the scalpel. Blood oozed out as I lifted the skin and sliced it out. NESB surgeon simply dabbed off the blood as we went. Then I calmly brought the skin together and sutured it close again. It’s amazing how un-anxious, un-nervous, un-frightened I was despite the un-known (was my first time slicing such a big piece of skin off someone’s hand). Must be because the master is watching. He’s there if anything goes wrong =)

*****

Some not-so-glamourous moments:

1. A piece of instrument (forceps) was missing after the procedure. Realized that Mr Surgeon must have dumped it into the bin accidentally, so had to look through the infectious waste bin and it’s a good thing it was just sitting right on top. Phew… if not the nurse will scold…US.

2. A teenager came in the afternoon and said that he thinks he has fractured ribs because someone "stood on him". (I was thinking why didn’t he wriggle away or something and laid there to get stood on). Asked a few questions about the incident and how the person managed to stand on him. Found out later that it’s just a slang meaning someone attacked him. Cheh…

You learn something new everyday - discoveries from last night’s GNO (girls’ nite out):

1. a new way to cook black pepper beef - first, start out planning to cook teriyaki beef. Then, plan to put a little bit of pepper in. After that, let alotofpepper fall into the beef… and hey presto, you’ve got black pepper beef yay!

2. dawn-the-singaporean tries to speak malay and spells "sekali" as "scully" (watch too much X-files).

3. stef does not eat rice hence no rice in house.

4. fang cooks good pasta.

5. hsuen has the coolest aspirations (paedoncology rules).

6. discovery of the nite: jasmine is a contortionist.

On the way to church yesterday my little bro (also affectionately known as Ah Tat) shared something quite cool, that A.S.K. stands for Ask, Seek, Knock! The boy amazes me sometimes, especially with his vast knowledge about the animal kingdom and world issues (from watching too much National Geographic, Discovery Channel, CNN, etc on Astro). Dad reckons he watches too much TV, Mum has decided that if she can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em and resorted to moving dinner to the TV room. I’m just glad that he’s at least learning substantial stuff and not watching "fengshui with Lillian Too" or something.

I love asking him outrageous questions and he’s actually able to answer them! My favourite is the whale series: "Ehhh Tat… why the whale spurts out water huh?" "Ehh.. really got small little fish cleaning up the whale’s teeth ah?" "Ehh.. then how come the whale doesn’t eat the small fish huh? Izzit coz later the teeth become dirty again?" "WAHHhhh the whale is a mammal huh!!!! NO wonder it doesn’t lay eggs…."

So.. yeah, the moral of the story is don’t look down on your little siblings, they can actually teach you stuff!

*******

But of course sometimes I get to teach Ah Tat some lessons in life as well:

At the ATM…

Me: Hey Tat… I’ll wait in the car. Can you jump down and help me withdraw $120 from the machine thanks…

Tat: Uhh.. okie…

(After an unusually long while…)

Tat: Ehh Pen jie… cannot lah!

Me: What you mean cannot???

Tat: Don’t have the $120 button also. Only can choose $100, 150, 200, 250…

Me: (didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, vomit blood or bang head on steering)… Waaaaa KEY IT IN LAH!

Churches urged to hold prayers (Aug 13)

PETALING JAYA: In view of the hazardous haze affecting many parts of the country, the Christian Federation of Malaysia has urged all churches to hold special prayers for a change in the weather to clear the haze.   

The holding of the prayers is also in response to the call by Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, said Bishop Dr Paul Tan, chairman of the federation.   

“In prayer, we also implore the Government to make greater efforts to protect those most vulnerable to the bad air, like children, the elderly and those who are sick.

Goodbye haze, welcome rain (Aug 15)

PETALING JAYA: Many Malaysians finally had the chance to breathe fresh air after putting up with the severe haze the past week.   

Rain in several states helped wash away the smog and brought much-needed respite to the people who didn’t mind setting aside their face masks for umbrellas.   

Heavy rain fell in various parts of Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya in the afternoon, lasting two hours.

The improvement in air quality allowed schools in the Klang Valley and other parts of Selangor to reopen today, following their closure late last week.

According to the Meteorological Services Department, the rain was natural and not the result of cloud seeding.   

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"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength." 1 Cor 1:25

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