pause.
Saw a lady who has bipolar/schizophrenia in clinics yesterday. She came in with her 4 year old daughter, to get prescriptions for antipsychotic medications. Was supposed to ask her a few questions and then just print the scripts for her. Decided to pause. And explore a little bit about what it was like living with a mental illness. She shared about how inadequate she felt trying to raise her little daughter. She lived a highly functional past before the disease struck, and often wondered how different life would’ve been for her and her daughter if she hadn’t gotten the illness. "I wish my daughter could have the best things, like what other kids have, sometimes when I look at other families… but I can only give her what I have…"
To me, I thought she’s been such a success. Success defined as garnering all that she is and has and making the best out of it all. Shared that with her, and her eyes welled up with tears. "You rrr-eeally think so dr?"…."Don’t worry, ma’am… your daughter will grow up to be a fine young lady because what you’ve sown into her is a great attitude towards life and that’s more precious than what money can buy…"
Wonder where I learnt to speak like that. Must be from my own little experience of what mum has given up for me. Plus the security to be able to brave through things in life because the One who is in control is walking life with me.
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After clinics: On the way out, was rushing past the receptionist when I saw that she had tears in her eyes. Paused… and found out that a patient had just said something unkind to her. Stayed on to encourage/console her.
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Amazing things happen when I decide to press the PAUSE button on my daily agendas. Worked out the math too: that if I only look out for myself, I have effectively ONE person looking out for me… but if everyone looks out for one another, we’d have many people looking out for each person.
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Glad that a moment of PAUSE made a difference in these women’s lives. Men should learn to do that more often too, since I’ve heard it said that men-no-pause.
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