made.good.again

Dear fav peeps,

While you were sleeping, I was already up at 7am your time, listening attentively to Ps Ted at church today. As always, church was superb. I took down notes for y’all!

Matthew 18:28-30 (The Message)

²⁸"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. ²⁹Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. ³⁰Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."

RECOVER…
We can only recover what we previously owned. E.g. "I can’t go to the police station and ask them to recover my Ferrari *snicker* coz I never owned one to begin with", says Ted.

Sometimes we think when we give our lives to God, that He just wants to take away what we desire/enjoy/our dreams. We think our will and God’s will never meet, that it’s totally different. We’re afraid to give our lives to Him because we’re afraid He’ll give us something we don’t want, afraid He will extract from our lives. In fact He wants to recover, restore.

But KNOW that your desires have been put there by God. REMEMBER that Jesus has your best interest at heart. Everything that you want out of life, God wants it even more for you. He has designed you, and the dreams within you. God has put plans in our lives and the only way we’ll be able to reach it is with God in our lives.

With God, He makes your dreams come true. Without Him, your desires become bland. Without God, You can be a successful CEO of a company and have lotsa money but you could come home at night, sit in the dark and be all lonely. With God, you can be a successful CEO of a company and have lotsa money but you come home and feel awesome. Even if you lost your position and all your money, with God, you’d still feel awesome.

He will give me everything that is beneficial to me. Whatever is NOT, it means I’ll have to push for it… and that disturbs the rhythm of our walk as I’m yoked with Him. I don’t wanna have to push. I wanna move in effortless grace…I wanna learn the unforced rhythms of grace…

Watch your dreams unfold when you have God in your life, when you give your life to Him!

=)

now… can I have the musicians up the stage please…

I MISS MY FAVOURITE PEOPLES! Four of them had to leave on the same flight on Friday and I was actually affected (sad)..

Antiricegirl, I saw a galangal in the market today (for the first time) and thought of you! I also ate rice. Eat more rice at home okay.

Millennialkid I’ve put the tag on my stethoscope but just realized that Dr Panicky isn’t going to be very reassuring. Can you make one with the correct spelling for me when you get back (thump thump). Glad you enjoyed the flight back with the escort of many other planes with their twinkling lights…

Handsome SoonSeng… ahtat and I miss you! Thankyou for lunch at the airport. By the way I couldn’t find my car after seeing you guys off and started panicking and praying after 10mins of running around frantically in the carpark. Hehe…

Ad don’t go shopping at the Cats shop without me! Enjoy the RedRockDeli’s x6 (I know it’s for you don’t pretend it’s for your sister)…

Been hanging out with my two best mates (ahtat and mum) the last two days. Itinerary: buy groceries, cook, eat, cleanup, rest, springcleaning, cook, eat, sleep, cook, eat, cook, eat… Mum’s like a dust-detector, keeps scolding me and ahtat whenever she sees dust/dirt/mess around the house. We just giggle and either blame each other or go "got meh?"

Three of us walked past the mirror and mum suddenly went: "Oh the both of you really look alike!"
Me and Tat in unison: OHHHHHHH PUHHLEASSEEEE!! (plus roll eyes)…

I must admit that I get this thrill that runs up the spine, across the neuromuscular junction and muscle fibres, that causes a large smile to spread across my face (and a dimpling of the left cheek where a muscular defect lies)…..

each time someone calls me Dr Penny.

*insert MSN blush emoticon here*… and I’m even beginning to receive letters from the Austin Hospital HR addressed to "Dr Penny Kee" (which I would proudly show AhTat just to get an ‘ohplease’ look from him).

Am amused at how two little characters in front of one’s name could have such automatic significance of how one is viewed in terms of social status / IQ level / importance in society / etc. The title does describe much of what one does, but very little of who one is.

WHO I am - He calls me His precious daughter, and has given me a new life with the old gone, and has given me new definitions and purpose in life - without which the D.R. would be meaningless…

Putting things into perspective: look past the two little characters that precede the name. Instead look deeper and try to see some characters that bear HIS Name.

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A song that brought perspective, again and again, over the exams season - the reason that kept me smiling (in a sane manner), kept me loving, caring, being a blessing, serving, sharing…

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I overcome
Oh I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hand
But the trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone, I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the Cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone.

In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
And only His tender mercies
Could reach beyond my weakness to my needs
And now I seek no greater honour
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains for losses
To the glory of my Lord

"He is no fool to lose that which he cannot keep; to keep that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliott

Haiyer wasted didn’t discover earlier….

excerpt from today’s thestar online:

Sin Chew Daily reported that a group of people had set up a “lazy-man village” in a rural area in Guang Zhou where they could enjoy a relaxed lifestyle every day. 

The group comprised those who did not want to face competition in work; had no interest in earning more money; and did not want to be hardworking. 

The village, which now has nine families, came out with a set of rules on working together to farm and to rear livestock for food.   

I know that ALL OF YOU out there are just waiting to hear about how my exams went today (one even called to find out coz cannot wait already.. thanks Ad), so I decided to be considerate and put a post up (sigh, the distances I’d go for my friends)…

P R A I S E  G O D for today’s exam - went well!!

I’d never been more calm. I’ve always had a bit of phobia because had a bad experience with gameshow-style exams in 4th year where I just panicked and said stupid things (even semi-argued with the examiners because I misunderstood them… then in another station I addressed a female patient as Mr Grey!! Good thing didn’t get failed for not being able to recognize people of different sexes).

All the stations went well today… except for one part where they put this CT scan thing and asked us to identify the abnormality. I couldn’t see ANY and was panicking because the bell was going to ring anytime… so just wrote something. But none of my friends knew what was going on either… pheww..

And another station we were supposed to certify that a patient is really dead (shine torch in pupil and make sure it’s not reactive, feel for pulselessness, listen to heartbeat/breathing) and it went well except that I almost introduced myself to the patient and greeted her coz I forgot she’s dead (she was an actress pretending to be dead lah)… just that she didn’t act too well because her eyes were open and she was smiling! So it was only natural to say hello… (can’t help it my polite nature just shines)…

God’s hands have just been really evident - the peace, the way He’s guided me to prepare for the exams - reading up the correct things, seeing the right patients, and I had no clue He had been guiding me all this time, until the exact things appear in exams. He sure works in wonderful ways. Thank God for mum’s constant prayers as well, how I wish they allow two people to go up and receive the scroll at the ceremony then mum can go with me also.. hehe..

And thanks friends for all the SMSes… morning calls… "how did it go" calls… coffee at library… cards, prayers, hugs. I’ve tasted of your love and concern =)

Yay finished the Long Case Exams! (i.e. saw a patient for an hour, then presented to examiners and got quizzed)…

Fears before the Long Case:
- getting a confused/demented/old/longwinded patient who takes 15mins to think about the question and another 15 to answer the question (okay I’m exaggerating but some veterans like to tell war stories before they answer your questions about why they’re in hospital!!)…
- getting a patient with some rare/exotic/complicated disease that I haven’t seen before
- getting examiners who ask impossible questions and "big picture" stuff like how many percent of the population has this and that… or surgeon who asks about halflife of weird hormones in the bloodstream

What actually happened:
First wise thing I did was to confide in mum about my fears so that she can pray specifically for me - she actually prayed that I’ll get a YOUNG ADULT as a patient and kind examiners and that I’ll know my facts…

So today I got a YOUNG ADULT (who also happens to be a nurse)… and knew her disease like inside out and answered all my questions straight to the point! Plus she had diabetes (my fav because I’d been practising seeing diabetic patients the last 2 weeks) and examiners were really nice and asked reasonable questions!

The exam went well =)

God is amazing…praise HIM!

two more days to go…

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Peer pressure: Was glancing around the library last night and everyone seemed to own some AppleMacintosh product - iPod Minis, iPod shuffles, iBook!!! Me only had iBags  –>   :(

Hrrr… 2 more days to the final exams! Gotta say this season of exams prep had been quite different (maybe I’ve finally gotten used to sitting for exams after 20 years of schooling).. or maybe God’s joy and peace have grown and grown in me that it’s becoming easier to pry my hands off the burden and allow Him to carry the anxiety for me as I lay it at His feet.

I don’t know a hundred percent of the course contents that I need to (apparently there’s also no end to knowing in the med course)… But His peace guards my heart - the peace that transcends all understanding (and un-understanding in my case… =P)

Ahem… I’ve shamelessly attached my exam timetable here so that if you read my blog you have NO CHOICE but to PRAY FOR ME (yes this is a threat)… And thanks in advance - will mention your names in my speech when I graduate… hahaha..

16th November (Wed) 8.20am to 10.00am - Long case: which means I interview a patient for an hour then present my findings and synthesis of the case to the examiners who will then quiz me.

17th November (Thurs) 8.00am - OSCE (Objectively Structured Clinical Examination): have to go from station to station, answering questions / doing procedures / doing physical examination on patients, interviews, etc… I know it sounds very exciting like some gameshow but can be quite nerve-wrecking… eeks..

18th November (Fri) 12.00pm - more OSCEs…(part 2)

18th November (Fri) approximately 2-3pm… FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

All the best to all who are having exams!!!

Hallelujah!! Best news in the world…

HE is alive and living; and thus he is alive and living…

My years as a student is officially over, as of today!

(happysadfeelings).. 6 years of primary school, 6 years of high school/college, 6 years of uni… ohh and 2 years of kindy. That makes 20 schooling years!! Eeeks… That’s more than two-thirds of my life… (no wonder now so clevergirl already study so much)…

Memories of kindy…
I was kinda dyslexic in kindy. I only read Peter and Jane up to level 6 or something while my friends were reading levels 12 and all.. (that also I memorized what came with the pictures in the book because I couldn’t read!). Another traumatizing event at kindy was that my teacher slapped me quite hard on the back because she thought I was Aminah (it was Aminah being naughty and I was just sitting quietly in my spot next to her)… between my sobs I managed to tell her that I was NOT AMINAH! I acted as one of the mice in kindy concert (Pied Piper)… not very glorious.

of Primary School…
First day of school my friends taught me how to steal from the supermarket, which I did. Then they told the teacher and I was scolded (I’m starting to sound like such a loser kid)… Anyway my previous religious belief was that kids (and adults) who steal things will get their hands chopped off when they die, same goes for the tongue if i lied. At the wonderful age of 7 I’ve already done both and was terrified of dying and going to hell. I’m thankful that Jesus found me, died for me and forgave me of my past, wiped away my sins and gave me a new future, a new life. Plus won’t have to face hell…

High school…
Remember arriving 10mins late for school one day and was pleasantly surprised that morning assembly hasn’t started. Wandered around the place a little bit and was suddenly reminded by a fellow prefect that I was on duty that morning - to ring the school bell!! Loved volleyball - even though we had to do duckwalks around the court during training, to strengthen the proximal muscles…

Memories of Med School…moments:
       of Tears…Holding a tiny three-month-old in my arms - he had liver disease and wouldn’t live for much longer if he didn’t receive a liver transplant… Couldn’t hold back the tears as I cuddled and prayed that God would heal him.

      of Laughter… too many, thanks to my own jokes (and occasionally my coursemates’)

      of Embarrassment… when I call out the wrong answers during tutes/lectures - but they usually don’t make me feel bad about it. Oh and also for thinking that a "Sister Mary Joseph" (name of a cancerous lesion) was the name of a nurse in the operating theatre…

GLAD TO BE GRADUATING SOON!! The big day is 3rd December 05!

Decisions of wisdom from my fav / beloved Prime Minister, he’s surely one who knows the importance of a strong inward infrastructure that need to go hand in hand with (or rather, precede) the outward. Am really thankful for his leadership, and believing that our nation will spear towards explosive growth in the coming years (not implosive for lack of character to maintain the development)! Malaysia boleh.. yay!

Weaving integrity and ethics into everyday life

PUTRAJAYA: Ethics and integrity must be taken seriously if the country wants a brighter future, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said. 

He said enhancing ethics and integrity in the people’s daily life was crucial to attaining developed country status. It would also form a progressive society with high moral values and ethics, and strong religious and spiritual faith. 

As the basis to strengthen ethics and integrity in society, he said, the Government had launched the National Integrity Plan and set up the Integrity Institute of Malaysia. At the same time it was stepping up efforts to fight corruption in the public and private sectors. 

“In fact, the move to enhance integrity is comprehensive and involves everyone,” he said in his message to mark the inaugural National Integrity Day today.   

Abdullah said the Government’s move to declare Nov 5 National Integrity Day was aimed at making integrity a way of life for Malaysians.   

“Although National Integrity Day is observed once a year, the Government hopes the implementation of the integrity agenda by all Malaysians will be an ongoing process,” he said. 

The Prime Minister said the success of the integrity enhancement initiative depended on the direct involvement of all parties. 

In this regard, he welcomed the support and involvement of the public and private sectors and NGOs in ensuring the success of National Integrity Day. 

“It will contribute to efforts in building a Malaysian society of glory, excellence and distinction,” he added. – Bernama