made.good.again

So it’s true what they said about how 6 years of medical school doesn’t prepare you for what you’d face at work.

I have many things to be thankful about for the past 10 weeks of working in the general medical wards, namely my immediate bosses (ie senior doctors) and my intern partner. I thought we made a great team, in the way that we aways lift one another up with the things we say, and how my partner and I would help with each other’s workload. Not to mention how everyone’s got a great sense of humour at the right times and the right amount of concern and seriousness when it came to work. It really made a difference!

Feeling competent was something else altogether. Somehow theoretical knowledge didn’t always translate into practice, and there’s been countless episodes where I’d felt so uncertain of myself, or decisions I’ve made. Like almost missing a possible diagnosis of cancer (the patient didn’t have it as we eventually found out but the fact that I didn’t consider it as a possibility was incompetency on my part). Another time I thought a patient had a heart attack when she didn’t (well at least better than the other way round). And once when I’d made a certain diagnosis at work then changed my mind as I was driving back and had a chance to think deeper about the case. Ended up having to call my colleague to treat the patient based on the second line of thought. (see.. warned you not to come into hospital in the beginning of the year! You’d really get a heart attack!! (and be told later that it was a misdiagnosis.. hehe))

Now that I begin to reflect over the past weeks, I realize how important it was that God had shaped my character over the years of walking with Him (and is continuing to shape my character) to face these challenges.

Despite feeling incompetent due to a lack of knowledge and experience, I continued to feel significant in my role, knowing that this is something God has meant for me to do. Feeling significant translated into confidence. Confidence in admitting my mistakes, confidence in asking not only doctors but nurses about things I was unsure about. Confidence to be honest and almost vulnerable to allow others to have an accurate assessment of my capabilities and incapabilities as a doctor at this stage. Sometimes the fastest way to learn is to be able to quickly admit the painful truth of where you’re at so that you can get on to where you need to be. (Kee, 2006)

Hung out with a new friend last night - she’s a nurse in the wards, from India! Invited her to watch Bollywood at SidneyMyer Music Bowl… but it was full by the time we got there, so ended up chatting by the river. She spoke about how the nurses liked working with my partner and I, and thought we were a good team, helpful, not sitting on our high horses…

I think she really helped put into perspective the things that matter, and the things that matter more. Knowledge is certainly important, and almost determines your success in the career. But it’s clear that CHARACTER is what carries and maintains the success.

It’s a good thing that it’s quicker to develop knowledge than character. Actually it’s quite easily fixable - will spend some time at the library from next week onwards! (yes, reading up on the diagnosis of a heart attack… ahem.. the medical term is Acute Myocardial Infarction, at least I know)..

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Due to a lack of brainspace, I think I’m almost cured of the tendency to come up with lame / corny jokes. But here’s one from a medical drama - Scrubs:

Q: Why didn’t the scallop go to the party?
A: Because it had noBODY to go with!!!

Have a good week ahead everybody!!