made.good.again

                                in no particular order…

1. ah tat who was our centre rep working hard to accommodate / get people going to camp, plus organized buses and got the campers there!! (and back)!! **proud approving smile** - mum was also impressed!

2. Black and orange lanyards with OCF Victoria printed on!

3. Heaters in dining hall (that you wish you could take with when you go to the showers).

4. Showertime!! Talking to people when you are showering (which you don’t get to do at home). Shower curtains that stick to you when you turn on the water - think Bernoulli’s principle (low air pressure area attracts shower curtains).

5. Getting deserved airtime to share lame jokes - thanks LiWei for continuously believing in me…

6. Girls workshop!! Read previous entry on beautiful woman.. for even more details, read Captivating by Stasi Eldredge.

7. DG!! (which stands for Discovery Group) - their curiosity and interest in Jesus taught me that God is the answer to so many of the situations we have in life - He is a relevant God indeed! Praise God for the many that took a joyful step into a wonderful relationship with Jesus - a decision that is of no regrets!

8. D&G!! (Debs and Gillian from Adelaide) - we meet each other like once a year (thanks to events like OCF convention) but each time we come together, we just connect (in G’s words - kindred spirits) - passionate to live the call of God in our lives, passionate in our pursuit of Him, passionate about OCFers and the mission ahead!

9. VIC OCFers being fantastic hosts to newcomers and friends! Am really proud of my MUOCFers - each time I look, they’re serving others, having a good chat with new friends, getting to know people from other centres - great going, team! I love serving under Lucien, Jolyn and the comm - not just coz of what they’re like upfront but their deep hunger for more of God!!

10. Thai missions team sharing! The team just shared their hearts out and I was inspired again and again - that the trip blessed both the Thai people and the team members - God’s abundant blessings!

11. Taking crazy photos by the Portsea beach!!

12. The other side of EmSeck that you don’t see - when she’s not being good and quiet working diligently on her Archi projects, she’s away practising her kungfu kicks by the beach (on Dong).

and of course, Dong could not withstand her powerful, wongfeihung kicks…

Luke 13:10-17 (NIV)

"Ahh.. the pen! We would be jobless without the pen, all that we do around the hospital is paperwork, that’s all they need us for, fill this in, sign that, write that up…" - semi-sarcastic fellow intern.

"penny, you’re gonna be here till 8 if you’re always doing the other people’s jobs. Just keep to what’s necessary…" - semi-reprimanding senior colleague after I helped another colleague look after a sick patient.

Subtle, but these are things that potentially would shape me day after day, especially in these impressionable early years as a junior dr. I’ve always enjoyed learning from others, being teachable, but more and more the responsibility lies in me to filter what I’d allow into my thoughts and soul.

When Jesus asked Peter "who do people say I am?"… He already knew who He was. He is the Christ, the Son of the Living God - the confidence He had lied in His identity. It wasn’t shaken by His hanging out with unimportant, insignificant people, it wasn’t crushed by His bending down to wash His disciples’ feet.

My identity is in Christ - I am a child of the Living King, who is rich and hence I am able to be generous to offer to others based on what’s in His account (’savings’.. hehe..)! And I want to continue to have the loving, compassionate, gracious mind of Christ, careful not to allow myself to continue to be stifled and restricted by the mindset of "just doing the necessary", of being narrow and small. Because I believe I have more than medical knowledge to offer.

Everyday, words will be spoken. We don’t have control over what people may say…

But…arrest/filter/resist words spoken over you that drive you further away from His destiny for you. And accept/meditate/practice with diligence words that agree with what He says about you in His Word.

Who does He say you are?

“Do not fear; let not your hands be weak. The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

"I pray that we as Christians never lose our conviction that God does change lives. Change is a gift from God. It is given to the person who finds himself too far removed from what he feels destiny has ordained for him. Unbelief in God’s ability to change causes people to judge others on the basis of their past."

"He created man from dust. He created him in such a way that, if need be, He could pull a woman out of him without ever having to reach back into the dust. Out of one creative act God transformed the man into a marriage. Then He transformed the marriage into a family, the family into a society, etc. God never had to reach into the ground again because the power to transform was intrinsically placed into man. All types of potential were locked into our spirits before birth. For the Christian, transformation at its optimum is the outworking of the internal. God placed certain things in us that must come out."

                        -Can You Stand to Be Blessed? - by TD Jakes.

So it’s true what they said about how 6 years of medical school doesn’t prepare you for what you’d face at work.

I have many things to be thankful about for the past 10 weeks of working in the general medical wards, namely my immediate bosses (ie senior doctors) and my intern partner. I thought we made a great team, in the way that we aways lift one another up with the things we say, and how my partner and I would help with each other’s workload. Not to mention how everyone’s got a great sense of humour at the right times and the right amount of concern and seriousness when it came to work. It really made a difference!

Feeling competent was something else altogether. Somehow theoretical knowledge didn’t always translate into practice, and there’s been countless episodes where I’d felt so uncertain of myself, or decisions I’ve made. Like almost missing a possible diagnosis of cancer (the patient didn’t have it as we eventually found out but the fact that I didn’t consider it as a possibility was incompetency on my part). Another time I thought a patient had a heart attack when she didn’t (well at least better than the other way round). And once when I’d made a certain diagnosis at work then changed my mind as I was driving back and had a chance to think deeper about the case. Ended up having to call my colleague to treat the patient based on the second line of thought. (see.. warned you not to come into hospital in the beginning of the year! You’d really get a heart attack!! (and be told later that it was a misdiagnosis.. hehe))

Now that I begin to reflect over the past weeks, I realize how important it was that God had shaped my character over the years of walking with Him (and is continuing to shape my character) to face these challenges.

Despite feeling incompetent due to a lack of knowledge and experience, I continued to feel significant in my role, knowing that this is something God has meant for me to do. Feeling significant translated into confidence. Confidence in admitting my mistakes, confidence in asking not only doctors but nurses about things I was unsure about. Confidence to be honest and almost vulnerable to allow others to have an accurate assessment of my capabilities and incapabilities as a doctor at this stage. Sometimes the fastest way to learn is to be able to quickly admit the painful truth of where you’re at so that you can get on to where you need to be. (Kee, 2006)

Hung out with a new friend last night - she’s a nurse in the wards, from India! Invited her to watch Bollywood at SidneyMyer Music Bowl… but it was full by the time we got there, so ended up chatting by the river. She spoke about how the nurses liked working with my partner and I, and thought we were a good team, helpful, not sitting on our high horses…

I think she really helped put into perspective the things that matter, and the things that matter more. Knowledge is certainly important, and almost determines your success in the career. But it’s clear that CHARACTER is what carries and maintains the success.

It’s a good thing that it’s quicker to develop knowledge than character. Actually it’s quite easily fixable - will spend some time at the library from next week onwards! (yes, reading up on the diagnosis of a heart attack… ahem.. the medical term is Acute Myocardial Infarction, at least I know)..

****************

Due to a lack of brainspace, I think I’m almost cured of the tendency to come up with lame / corny jokes. But here’s one from a medical drama - Scrubs:

Q: Why didn’t the scallop go to the party?
A: Because it had noBODY to go with!!!

Have a good week ahead everybody!!

Dale..

You must’ve arrived safely by now. Better enjoy your time back home because you’ll be back here soon (haha wishful thinking). Have fun at work and take good care of yourself (also allow the people around you to take care of you before you jump straight into taking care of everyone)…

Feels weird not having you around, realized how much we’ve spurred each other on in good (and naughty) deeds and love. Read and re-read your letter (sounds a lot like the one I wrote you)… Haha from Fiji to China to Thailand… am gonna have a hard time finding my next partner in crime… (plus who’s gonna pray for me at camp altar calls now)!!

Sigh.. be good okay. Make a difference in our beloved country. Your heart - keep it beating with Dad’s…

Love
Chip

The general medical ward just seems to be filled with frail elderly (big) men and (little) women, mostly confused, incontinent, suffering from heart / kidney failures, pneumonias, urinary tract infections; they all seem to merge into one big patient at first. But over the last 3 weeks spent in the wards I’ve really grown fond of them, especially the longer-staying ones, each with their own little unique and special personalities. A number of them have gotten better and are getting discharged tomorrow, I think I’m gonna miss them (especially the really pleasant ones =P)!

A few interesting characters…

There was this lady in her 80’s who believes she should look her best though staying in the wards. Makeup, neat hairdo, even the hospital gown somehow appears stylish when it’s on her. When I told her she’s well enough to go home, she was overjoyed: "Ohh.. thank you, doctor! You have been very kind to me, and you are always dressed so neatly, yes, I’ve noticed that everyday you make an effort to dress well, and you look really pretty."

????????????

Then there was my favourite confused gentleman…
We normally ask the delirious i.e. confused patients three simple questions to see if they’re oriented to time, place, and person. So..
Me: Hello Mr Z… can you tell me which year it is?
Mr Z: Errr.. 2001??
Me: It’s 2006, Mr Z. Do you know where we are?
Mr Z: Surrey Hills!
Me: We’re at the Austin Hospital, sir… Now do you know who I am? (which you’d expect them to say doctor / nurse, or my name if they’re really good)…
Mr Z: You?? Hehhh… you’re a Chinese girl!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And lastly, this old little lady who was getting better from her infection but decided one day that she didn’t wanna eat! So I was trying to persuade her…
Me: Mrs Y… I heard that you haven’t eaten very much today. Why is that?
Mrs Y: I don’t wanna eat!
Me: Uhh..okay.. can you tell me why?
Mrs Y: I’ve had enough to eat (which she hadn’t eaten anything yet).
Me: Hmmm.. but if you don’t eat, we’re gonna have to keep you on the drip.. and you won’t be able to go home if you still have the drip running into your arm…
Mrs Y: No.. I don’t wanna eat.
Me: (points at dinner) Ohh but look Mrs Y… tonight’s food is really yummy.. there’s roast chicken, mashed potatoes, veggies…
Mrs Y: NO…
Me: Not even a little bit?? Please??
Mrs Y: Sighh.. you know, you’re gonna nag your husband to death next time!
Me: (a bit speechless for a while, then there’s almost the AllyMcBeal-type of mental imagery of me shoving the food into her mouth =P)…

Be careful when heading for tourist destinations, eg Disneyland, etc…

Despite:
- having to wake up very early;
- being a blurnut most times;
- appearing clueless;
- having to say x1000 "this is my first week at work";
- failed attempts at putting drips into veinless patients;
- not having very much of a lunch break;
- having to stay back to finish off the tasks;
- staplers running out of staples when I need it;
- papers getting jammed in the photocopier;
- computer not printing;
- computer print jobs printing out everywhere else but the printer next to me…

I AM LOVING MY JOB.

I have found meaning…

… in smiling, having a kind word to say, extending a hand to be held…

Amidst it all.

God’s love and compassion - they overflow.

9am: Wake up.

9.30am: Drive to work and park at designated spot reserved for doctors ONLY

10am: Morning tea with consultants and other senior doctors, exchanging witty remarks and jokes, getting a pat on the back for having finished med school.

11am: Ward rounds - patiently and cleverly advising patients about their various ailments, full of empathy and care

12pm: Lunch break - meeting up with other interns and exchanging our amazing stories of how 6 years of uni has totally geared us up for this. We are totally focused towards giving our best care to our patients, just like what we started out to be.

1pm: Walking around the wards, getting the nurses to do things. Once in a while stopping to hear patients’ concerns. Some paperwork in between, proudly signing my initials next to important documents and prescriptions.

3pm: Afternoon tea

3.30pm: Seeing patients. Hearing their complaints about symptoms they have been experiencing, listening intently into the stethoscope and hearing every wheeze and abnormal heart sound. Informing them of their diagnosis, followed by steps they need to do to get well. And of course, ending with the advice that "prevention is better than cure"

5.00pm: People wave goodbye as I leave for home… as I gave a slight nod to acknowledge them.

……………

The reality….
6.30am: RINGggggggggggggggg!! And Penny wakes up from her fantasy.

All I can say is… thank God for dumbcredits! I am totally maxing mine out.